You Might be an Engineer if...
- If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for Technical inaccuracies.
- If you have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
- If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that actually takes five minutes to run.
- If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage-door
opener and your camera's flash attachment.
- If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
- If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts.
- If you've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
- If your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory.
- If your laptop computer costs more than your car.
- If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
- If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
- If you want an 18X CD-ROM for Christmas.
- If you can name six Star Trek episodes.
- If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
- If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 266MHz Pentium II
Processor.
- If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
- If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
- If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what
RPN (or RTN) stands for.
- If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and
you grew up thinking that was normal.
- If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own
handwriting.
- If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
- If you did the sound system for your senior prom.
- If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers.
- If you know what http:// stands for.
- If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers but you don't remember
where they are.
- If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster
you own turns bread into charcoal.
- If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they
work.
- If your IQ is bigger than your weight.
- If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you
rush up to the front to fix them.
- If you can remember seven computer passwords but not your
anniversary
.
- If you have ever taken the back off of your TV just to see what's
inside.
- If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
- If you have never backed up your hard drive.
- If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
- If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as is."
- If you see a good design and still have to change it.
- If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your
questions.
- If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never
enters your mind.
- If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
July 4, 1999
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