A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling sream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.

-- What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!

-- I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls.

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says,

-- You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!