Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered
civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of
hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99
billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks,
that number will roll over to 100GB. McDonald's signs, however, were
designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion
hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two numeric
places.
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's
signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict,
will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's
hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse
of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to
force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will
push the teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will
complete the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization
as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really
scared of the 100GB bug", one expert said. "I don't know about
you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN
INSECTS and heading for the hills."
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